GRANDFATHERDOM
Thinking ahead, I see them
suddenly older.
Sam’s
married to a quiet girl
from Kansas or Tennessee
or somewhere other than here.
Anna’s singing at the Met.
Sarah as Sarah is Sarah
as ever and Sarah forever.
I’ll be a genuine dodderer
by then, if I’m still doddering
at all.
Instead of feeling
happy, I feel condemned
to feel the old fears I
felt once for their father.
Will there be an accident?
Will some disease take them
before they’re twenty-one?
Will they still love each other
as they love each other now?
This grandfather role is not
what I expected.
I cope
with aging and concern no better
than I cope with death and love.
Nothing changes but the names.